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Army Releases Woke Lesbian Recruitment Video, But Still Finds Woman Can’t Pass Fitness Test

The U.S. Army released a new woke recruitment video to appeal to lesbians.

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The U.S. Army released a new woke recruitment video to appeal to lesbians, yet the Pentagon has admitted that female soldiers still can’t pass the fitness test, even after they were downgraded.

The Army released its animated advertisement featuring a girl raised by two pride parade-marching, lesbian mothers.

Per the Washington Examiner:

Trending: McAfee Dead in Prison After Repeatedly Declaring He Would Not Kill Himself

The advertisement, titled Emma: The Calling, showed a girl’s childhood before she joined the Army as a Patriot Missile operator. The two-minute video followed Emma while she watched her two mothers get married, joined a sorority at the University of California-Davis, and fought for “freedom” at a young age by participating in a gay rights parade.

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“It begins in California with a little girl raised by two moms. Although I had a fairly typical childhood, took ballet, played violin, I also marched for equality. I like to think I’ve been defending freedom from an early age,” she said in the advertisement, which was posted to YouTube on May 4.

“When I was 6 years old, one of my moms had an accident that left her paralyzed,” she continued. “Doctors said she might never walk again, but she tapped into my family’s pride to get back on her feet, eventually standing at the altar to marry my other mom.”

WATCH:

Meanwhile, the Pentagon has had to admit that nearly half of the female soldiers have failed the already weakened Army Combat fitness Test during the first half of 2020.

The ACFT consists of six different events, and the test has been changed since last year. Women are now allowed to skip the leg tucks, which had a 41 percent fail rate. Even though the test has been weakened, 44 percent of women still failed the test in the first half of the year.

The Army had already weakened these tests because an even higher number of female soldiers could not pass it. The weakening, though, still did not fix the failure problem.

Follow Warner Todd Huston on Facebook at: facebook.com/Warner.Todd.Huston.

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McAfee Dead in Prison After Repeatedly Declaring He Would Not Kill Himself

Social media users were quick to remind the world of McAfee’s own words.

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John McAfee is a computing legend, having pioneered the way in which systems and networks protect themselves from viruses, malware, spyware, and all the other assorted evils of this internet age. But now he lies dead, having allegedly committed suicide in a Spanish prison cell. Antivirus software tycoon John McAfee died by an apparent suicide in a Spanish jail cell Wednesday evening — hours after reports surfaced that he would be extradited to face federal charges in the US, according to local media. The eccentric tech entrepreneur was arrested in October and was awaiting extradition when he was found dead, police sources told the newspaper El Pais. The newspaper reported McAfee was pulled from his cell in Barcelona and police are investigating the circumstances around his death. Authorities aren’t shying away from calling it a suicide already. “Everything points to suicide,” the newspaper reported, citing justice department officials in the country. A second Spanish newspaper, El Mundo, also reported McAfee had died by an apparent suicide in the jail. But here is where it gets strange:  McAfee has been utterly insistent and consistent about the fact that he would never, ever take his own life, explicitly telling his followers on social media that, should he ever be found dead of suicide, he was killed. https://twitter.com/officialmcafee/status/1316801215083225096?s=20 https://twitter.com/officialmcafee/status/1200864283766251521?s=20 https://twitter.com/truthcrumbs/status/1407788935628079113?s=20 The investigation is ongoing at this time.

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Lab Finds Zero Fish DNA After Testing Subway’s Tuna Sandwich

You can “eat fresh” at Subway, but can you eat fish?

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For years we’ve told ourselves that there has to be a better way to do fast food.  Or, at the very least, a healthier way. And so new chains are constantly popping up, while the old staples adapt.  There are salads for sale as places like McDonald’s these days, which is something that kids who grew up in the 80’s might have had a hard time believing would ever occur. In the realm of healthy fast food, there is but one king:  The unbreakable Subway.  Not only did the brand survive having a pedophile as their spokesperson, but they currently operate more physical restaurants in the world than even the aforementioned burger purveyor. But an alarming new study has some wondering if, while they were “eating fresh” with a tuna sub, they were even eating fish. The New York Times published a report Sunday, which revealed that lab tests didn’t find “amplifiable tuna DNA” in Subway’s infamous tuna sandwich. NYT submitted “60 inches worth of Subway tuna sandwiches” from three separate Los Angeles locations for lab analysis in wake of the lawsuit filed earlier this year alleging the sandwich chain was serving customers “a mixture of various concoctions that do not constitute tuna.” The suit claims that independent lab tests showed the company meant to “imitate” tuna’s appearance by blending together these unknown ingredients. The study, commissioned by NYT, failed to not only identify tuna DNA, but the lab couldn’t even determine the origins of the fish in the provided sandwiches. “No amplifiable tuna DNA was present in the sample and so we obtained no amplification products from the DNA. Therefore, we cannot identify the species,” the results read. But it’s not all bad news: “There’s two conclusions. One, it’s so heavily processed that whatever we could pull out, we couldn’t make an…

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