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Cincinatti Man Blames 'Brood X' for Car Crash

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The United States is currently preparing for a major invasion, and some in the north half of the nation are already feeling the sting of the hovering hordes.

We’re talking about “Brood X”, of course:  The largest group of cyclical cicadas in North America, who will emerge by the trillions in the coming weeks to hatch, mate, and reproduce, all while constantly “singing” their horrid and screechy reproductive opus.

The large bugs even got past Secret Service and the Marines to attack Joe Biden on at tarmac just the other day.

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Now, Brood X is even being blamed for car accidents.

Vincent Bingham was driving in Cincinnati Monday when a cicada got a little too close for comfort, causing him to crash his car into a utility pole.

“I was driving, and I’m guessing it was a cicada flew in and smacked me right in the face,” Bingham told an officer at the scene of the crash in bodycam footage released by the Cincinnati Police Department.

Witnesses of the crash told the responding officer that Bingham wasn’t swerving or speeding until he randomly jerked the wheel, causing him to total his car.

Tellingly, body camera audio was nearly drowned out by the buzzing of the cicadas nearby.

Thankfully, no one was injured in the incident.

Brood X cicadas have been emerging in such great numbers in the northeast that they’ve even been picked up on weather radar.

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About the Author:
As a lifelong advocate for the dream promised us in the Constitution, Andrew West has spent his years authoring lush prose editorial dirges regarding America's fall from grace and her path back to prosperity. When West isn't railing against the offensive whims of the mainstream media or the ideological cruelty that is so rampant in the US, he spends his time seeking adventurous new food and fermented beverages, with the occasional round of golf peppered in.




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