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Cleveland Indians Hire Tom Hanks to Help Break the News of Their Name Change

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In a move that we’d be silly to not see coming, the Cleveland Indians are changing their name.

The 21st century has not been a copacetic one for professional sports teams with potentially-offensive names.  The Washington “Redskins” are now, simply, The Washington Football Team, and have spent years trying to come up with whatever their next moniker will be.  Recently, they got as far as to announce that they won’t be “the warriors”, on account of how easily their previous Native American imagery might lend itself to the new name.

Now, the Major League Baseball franchise from Cleveland has announced their transcendence from the no-longer-timely trope, and they got Tom Hanks to help.

The process is moving along at a fairly rapid clip, but the official change won’t occur until after the 2021 season comes to an end.

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Cleveland launched a section on its official website dedicated to the new name. Team owner Paul Dolan wrote in a letter to fans the “Indians will always be part of our history just as Cleveland has always been the most important part of our identity.”

“In searching for a new brand, we sought a name that strongly reflects the pride, resiliency and loyalty of Clevelanders. Guardians embodies those defining attributes while drawing upon the iconic Guardians of Traffic proudly standing just outside Progressive Field on the Hope Memorial Bridge,” Dolan wrote. “It brings to life the pride of Clevelanders take in our city and the way we stand for each other while defending our Cleveland process.”

New imagery for the team was also being spread around social media on Friday.

Thus far, the Atlanta Braves have been able to avoid a name-killing controversy, largely through their work with local Native American leaders, who help guide the team’s imagery and verbiage.

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About the Author:
As a lifelong advocate for the dream promised us in the Constitution, Andrew West has spent his years authoring lush prose editorial dirges regarding America's fall from grace and her path back to prosperity. When West isn't railing against the offensive whims of the mainstream media or the ideological cruelty that is so rampant in the US, he spends his time seeking adventurous new food and fermented beverages, with the occasional round of golf peppered in.




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