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Opinion

Florida Police Arrest Man for DUI on Mobility Scooter Inside Walmart

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In the great state of Florida, surrounded on three sides by some of the most beautiful beaches on this entire planet, lies a populace capable of some very bizarre breed of trouble.

Maybe it’s the constant aura of “vacation” in the air, or the constantly rotating cast of auxiliary characters that flow in and out of the Sunshine State yearly, but there’s just something different about the sorts of stories that come out of Florida.

For instance, this week’s tale of a man on a Walmart scooter catching a DUI while inside the store.

Aaron Gregory, 39, was busted around 10 AM Sunday inside a Walmart in Melbourne, a city about 65 miles south of Orlando. Officers were summoned to the store “reference to an intoxicated male on a motorized scooter,” according to an arrest affidavit.

A Walmart security official told cops that Gregory, seen at right, was haphazardly driving a Walmart scooter “down the aisles, running into shelves and displays, and creating a danger for other patrons by almost striking them with the scooter.”

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The Florida man wasn’t just a little “buzzed”.

Gregory was reportedly so intoxicated that he was barely able to stand on his own and had to be transported from the store on a stretcher. Gregory’s backpack, which was in the scooter’s basket, contained an open bottle of Smirnoff vodka.

Gregory was being held on $3,000 bond, and will be facing a total of 4 misdemeanors in the case.

 

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About the Author:
As a lifelong advocate for the dream promised us in the Constitution, Andrew West has spent his years authoring lush prose editorial dirges regarding America's fall from grace and her path back to prosperity. When West isn't railing against the offensive whims of the mainstream media or the ideological cruelty that is so rampant in the US, he spends his time seeking adventurous new food and fermented beverages, with the occasional round of golf peppered in.




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