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Harvard Study Purports Mysterious Space Object Could be Alien in Nature

Did E.T. just do a 70,000mph drive by?

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Concerns over the grand dissonance of the American political world have had many citizens hoping for some sort of interstellar interjection, before it’s too late.

When face with the choice between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump in the 2016 electoral circus, a popular bumper sticker emerged that seemed to sum up our collective sentiments succinctly:

Trending: American Music Icon Dead at 72; Was Set to Tour This Summer

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Of course, this was merely a dry and morbid bit of nihilistic humor aimed at bringing the current state of affairs into some serious perspective.

Now, however, on the eve of our midterm elections, (which have been filled with more of the same chicanery), scientists are revealing something spectacular about one of our recent extraterrestrial visitors – namely that it may not be a meteor at all.

NASA may have ruled that Oumuamua, the first interstellar object ever spotted in our system is a “metallic or rocky object” approximately 400 meters (1,312 feet) in length and 40 meters (131 feet) wide, but a new study from the Harvard Smithsonian Center for Astrophysics says it could be something much more exciting – it could be “a lightsail of artificial origin” sent from another civilization.

The study, which was posted online earlier this month, suggests that Oumuamua’s strange “excess acceleration” could be artificial in nature, as it has been implied that it is not an active comet.

“Considering an artificial origin, one possibility is that ‘Oumuamua is a lightsail, floating in interstellar space as a debris from an advanced technological equipment,” researchers wrote in the paper.

The paper continues: “Lightsails with similar dimensions have been designed and constructed by our own civilization, including the IKAROS project and the Starshot Initiative. The lightsail technology might be abundantly used for transportation of cargos between planets or between stars.”

The only problem now is that Oumuamua is long gone, traveling at nearly 70,000 miles per hour away from our sun, making further study prohibitively difficult.

This also means, perhaps anticlimactically, that Oumuamua isn’t the interstellar savior that the Giant Meteorite 2016 team was looking for either.

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American Music Icon Dead at 72; Was Set to Tour This Summer

Rest in peace, amigo.

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When it comes to gritty guitars and even grittier songs, there is no act quite like that little ol’ band from Texas. ZZ Top mainlined American blues standards directly into the electric era of 1970’s rock, and then reinvented the genre once again with the synthesizers of the 1980’s.  From there, the band toured the world incessantly, bringing their grimy grooves and unforgettable stage presence to audiences from Dusseldorf to Delaware. Now, just weeks before the band was set to take to the road once again, one member of the holy triumvirate of honky-tonk has passed away. Dusty Hill, the bassist for ZZ Top, has died. He was 72. Billy Gibbons and Frank Beard of the Texas-based trio issued a statement to Variety on Tuesday, writing: “We are saddened by the news today that our Compadre, Dusty Hill, has passed away in his sleep at home in Houston, TX. We, along with legions of ZZ Top fans around the world, will miss your steadfast presence, your good nature and enduring commitment to providing that monumental bottom to the ‘Top’. We will forever be connected to that ‘Blues Shuffle in C.’” And then, echoing the sentiments of music fans the nation over: “You will be missed greatly, amigo,” the statement added. We couldn’t have said it better ourselves, so we’ll just leave you all with a classic. Make sure to turns those speakers up, y’all. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s5WB5ouP-8c  

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Mask Mandates Coming Back to Capitol Hill After CDC Switcheroo

This isn’t likely to go over well with some lawmakers.

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With the “delta” variant now raging in some parts of the country, and breakthrough infections of vaccinated individuals continuing to be reported, the CDC has made a stark decision, stating that even vaccinated folks should be wearing a mask when they are indoors or in parts of the country with high COVID transmission rates. This has now prompted the House of Representatives to bring back a previously criticized policy themselves. Capitol Attending Physician Brian Monahan said late Tuesday that the House of Representatives is reinstating its mask mandate – and therefore the threat of fines to members who don’t comply – following updated guidance from the Centers from Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) on the delta variant of the coronavirus. The White House also appears to be going back to mandated masks. A White House press representative was seen Tuesday swapping a sign saying people are required to wear masks if unvaccinated with another saying masks are required regardless of vaccination status. Monahan didn’t leave much room for interpretation. “For the Congress, representing a collection of individuals traveling weekly from various risk areas (both high and low rates of disease transmission), all individuals should wear a well-fitted, medical-grade filtration mask (for example an ear loop surgical mask or a KN95 mask) when they are in an interior space,” Monahan said in a letter sent to congressional staffers. The move will almost certainly see pushback from the far right side of the aisle, where the mandating of masks has been a very unpopular policy, and a point of contention in almost every arena in which it has been implemented.

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