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KNOW WHEN TO FOLD 'EM: Criminal Gropes Booking Cop During Fingerprinting

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There’s an old adage in poker, immortalized by singer Kenny Rogers, that say “you’ve got to know when to hold ’em, and know when to fold ’em”.

For the uninitiated, the concept is simple:  If you’re ahead, stay ahead by playing things a little conservative.  If you’re not ahead, you need to keep your cool and still play a little conservatively.

Apparently, the subject of our story has never heard or understood the concept.

While being booked for causing a disturbance at a bar, a Florida Man rubbed the buttocks of a fingerprint technician, according to a police report which notes that the suspect said he pawed the female victim because “she was sexy.”

Jack Dylan Evans, 44, was arrested Wednesday afternoon for disorderly conduct at the Down the Hatch bar in Pinellas Park. Cops say Evans had been yelling obscenities in the bar and told the owner he wanted to have sex with her.

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After police arrived at the business, Evans, who lives in Pinellas Park, “continued to make crude sexual comments.”

Evans is obviously doing little to dispel the unfortunate cultural trope of “Florida Man“.




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About the Author:
As a lifelong advocate for the dream promised us in the Constitution, Andrew West has spent his years authoring lush prose editorial dirges regarding America's fall from grace and her path back to prosperity. When West isn't railing against the offensive whims of the mainstream media or the ideological cruelty that is so rampant in the US, he spends his time seeking adventurous new food and fermented beverages, with the occasional round of golf peppered in.