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Kremlin Sources Say Putin Set for Cancer Surgery, Will Promote Pal While Anesthetized

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The tale of Russia’s invasion of Ukraine is a strange one, that’s for sure.  The bloody and bumbling affront to Ukraine’s sovereignty seemingly came out of nowhere, and arrived with conflicting, nonsensical excuses for it pouring out of the Kremlin.  At one point, the gibberish was so strange that Vladimir Putin was suggesting that Ukraine was being run by “nazis”, despite their President being a Jewish descendant of Holocaust victims.

Then we got a good look at the Russian army, who’ve been bewilderingly bad at war, with morale so low that some have been shooting themselves in the legs with Ukrainian ammunition so that they’ll get sent back to a Russian hospital.

The whole fiasco has an air of fatalism about it, and Putin’s own behavior certainly isn’t being influenced by his hopes for the future.  Rumors of a terminal cancer diagnosis have been offered as a reason for the brash decision to start this untenable assault, and new evidence of Putin’s health problems has emerged this week.

The Russian tyrant’s health has been source of considerable speculation amid reports that he is battling both abdominal cancer and Parkinson’s Disease.

But now it has been reported that 69-year-old Putin could soon vanish as he goes under the knife, with power transferred to Nikolai Patrushev.

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Shadowy Patrushev, 70, is seen as a key architect of the Ukraine war strategy and the man who convinced Putin that Kyiv was awash with neo-Nazis.

The claim was reported on Russian media outlet General SVR, which first raised issues of Putin’s health around 18-months ago.

There was no clear idea of a date for the surgery, but experts believe it will likely come after May 9th, when Putin will be presiding over the Red Army Victory Day Parade – the featured event of the major militaristic national holiday.

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About the Author:
As a lifelong advocate for the dream promised us in the Constitution, Andrew West has spent his years authoring lush prose editorial dirges regarding America's fall from grace and her path back to prosperity. When West isn't railing against the offensive whims of the mainstream media or the ideological cruelty that is so rampant in the US, he spends his time seeking adventurous new food and fermented beverages, with the occasional round of golf peppered in.