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New Russian Recruits Calling Ukraine's Surrender Hotline Before Deployment

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If we’ve learned anything over the course of the last several months, it’s that the Kremlin’s army is not at all the fearsome fighting force that we once believed it to be.

In fact, the myth of Moscow’s military might is all but busted at this point, as 70-year old Soviet tanks continue to break down in the Ukrainian countryside, spilling scared Russian soldiers out of their hatches, while others simply drop their rifles and make a run for the border.

Now, as Vladimir Putin attempts to conscript 300,000+ civilians into the ranks of his armed forces, (to be undoubtedly slaughtered by Ukraine), some of these new recruits are calling ahead to Ukraine to figure out the most effective way of surrendering.

Andrii Yusov, spokesman for the Ministry of Defence of Ukraine, said that the ministry’s hotline has received many calls from Russians who had recently been called up and who are now asking how to surrender to Ukraine.

Yusov laid it all out during a newscast:

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Quote: “The hotline has received a lot of calls from Russians who were called up recently, and even from some who have even been called up yet. They’re calling and asking ‘What should I do if I get called up? What do I have to do, what’s the right way to surrender?’”

This is but the latest humiliation for the Russian army, whose soldiers have already been caught attempting to shoot themselves in the legs with pilfered Ukrainian ammunition in order to be sent home without suspicion.

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About the Author:
As a lifelong advocate for the dream promised us in the Constitution, Andrew West has spent his years authoring lush prose editorial dirges regarding America's fall from grace and her path back to prosperity. When West isn't railing against the offensive whims of the mainstream media or the ideological cruelty that is so rampant in the US, he spends his time seeking adventurous new food and fermented beverages, with the occasional round of golf peppered in.