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Pope Francis Issues Tone Deaf Warning for American Singer

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The Catholic Church has plenty of problems to be dealing with right now, (and over the course of the last few decades, if we’re being honest), and the gyrations of an American pop singer shouldn’t be high on the list.

In one of the most classically ironic twists of fate in the last century or so, the Catholic Church has come to symbolize a nefarious underworld of evil, perversion, and filth.  This is no “hot take”, either:  This is simply the reality of a world whose informational prowess has outgrown the Vatican’s ability to silence its accusers.

For his part, Pope Francis has done an egregiously poor job of condemning those in his stead who have systematically and habitually abused children in the most vile ways, at one point even likening the victims to Satan himself.

Now, with this heinous evil still manifesting itself within the walls of the church, the Pope has issued a new warning:  This time to an American pop singer who Francis was afraid might gyrate her hips during a performance in the Holy City.

Anastacia was told that for one very special gig she didn’t have a cha-cha-chance of performing any of the sexy moves she learned on “Strictly Come Dancing.”

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The singer’s lower body-parts were ordered to remain firmly static last night during a performance for Pope Francis at The Vatican — after the pop star was issued with a “no hip-shaking” rule.

We can reveal that the U.S. singer, partnered on the dance show with Brendan Cole, was given a series of strict protocol instructions ahead of her live show, in order not to offend the Roman Catholic supremo.

As well as being told to stand still, Anastacia was also instructed to wear a “smart and length-appropriate” dress and told not to swear during the evening.

A source said: “Anastacia is more used to calling the shots and issuing demands ahead of a performance.

“But a few weeks ago she received an official document which clearly spelled out, in no uncertain terms, the conditions she must adhere to if she wants to perform in front of the Pope.

There is no other way to put this, other than extremely bluntly:  Pope Francis’ lack of concern over the systematic and ritualistic pedophilia running rampant within the confines of the Catholic Church is not only inexcusable, but completely immoral.  For the High Pontiff to spend a single breath on any other subject is a slap in the face to the tens of thousands, (or more), who have been defiled at the behest of those who answer to him.


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About the Author:
As a lifelong advocate for the dream promised us in the Constitution, Andrew West has spent his years authoring lush prose editorial dirges regarding America's fall from grace and her path back to prosperity. When West isn't railing against the offensive whims of the mainstream media or the ideological cruelty that is so rampant in the US, he spends his time seeking adventurous new food and fermented beverages, with the occasional round of golf peppered in.