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Russian Google Trend: 'How to Break Arm at Home'

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Nobody really likes a Wednesday, do they?

It’s the middle of the week.  A cruel reminder that we’ve not yet made it over the crest of the hill, and that there is still some peddling to do before we can coast.

But for the people of Russia, this past Wednesday was simply dreadful, as Vladimir Putin declared that 300,000 citizens were going to be forcibly conscripted into the armed forces and sent to Eastern Ukraine, where the locals would presumably be using them for target practice since they’ll have no training and ancient Soviet equipment to work with.

As the conscription plan plays out, many are simply fleeing the country, clogging up airports and driving travel pries through the roof.

Others, however, are trying their hand at more painful ways to avoid the war.

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Google searches for “how to break an arm at home” surged in Russia after President Vladimir Putin announced a partial mobilization of the population to fight in Ukraine.

The Russian president said conscription would only be applied to reservists, with the decree taking effect on Wednesday.

Defense Minister Sergei Shoigu, who spoke after Putin’s address to the nation, said 300,000 men with “previous military experience” would now be called up.

This isn’t the first time that the Russian people have attempted to avoid the call of duty.

Earlier in the war, Russian soldiers were caught scrounging Ukrainian ammunition so that they could shoot themselves in the leg and get sent home without suspicion.

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About the Author:
As a lifelong advocate for the dream promised us in the Constitution, Andrew West has spent his years authoring lush prose editorial dirges regarding America's fall from grace and her path back to prosperity. When West isn't railing against the offensive whims of the mainstream media or the ideological cruelty that is so rampant in the US, he spends his time seeking adventurous new food and fermented beverages, with the occasional round of golf peppered in.