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Seattle PD Searching for Man Who Stole $600 from Freezing Girl Scouts

Hell hath no fury like a Girl Scout scorned.

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“Stealing candy from a baby” has long been the preferred American colloquial phrase for a crime that is both simple and heinous.  Now, Seattle Police are looking for a man with similarly simple ideas, who committed a similarly heinous act.

For those of you not in the know, it is Girl Scout cookie season.  This cherished time of year comes to us just as the New Year resolutions begin to fade, with our gym bags growing dusty and our beer guts reemerging from their short slumber.  These young women will be out in force, tempting you with Thin Mints, Tagalongs, and this author’s personal vice, the almighty Samoa cookie.

In years past, you often needed a “hookup”, or a friend in the business.   Otherwise, you would be waiting for days on end for a troop to canvas your neighborhood with their sugary goods.

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Nowadays, it is far more likely that you’ll get your fix from entrepreneurial young women who’ve set up shop in front of shopping centers, grocery stores, and, ingeniously, recreational marijuana shops in legal-weed states.

But, in Seattle, one ne’er-do-well saw these young ladies as targets for his insidious scheme.

Officials with the Seattle Police Department said in an announcement Tuesday that the scouts were selling cookies outside a grocery store in the 11100 block of Roosevelt Way Northeast, when, shortly before 8 p.m. that night, a man ran up, grabbed their money bin and ran away. The bin reportedly contained more than $600.

Jennifer Johanson, an adult who was helping oversee the girls’ cookie stand, said she noticed the man acting strangely before the incident occurred.

“He came up a number of times asking about all the cookies and he bought some, and he returned them,” she told King 5. “He came back, and there was just something not right.”

Moments later, the perpetrator struck, snatching up the entire cash bin used by the Scout troop, and even shoving one of the young women as he did so.

Authorities issued a colorful statement regarding the incident as well.

“If you recognize the man, please contact the North Precinct detectives at 206-684-5735 before, hypothetically, small, highly mobile teams of Girl Scouts armed with bows, poison-tipped arrows, and a Terminator-like unflinching dedication to relentlessly pursuing their target do,” police added.

Hell hath no fury like a Girl Scout scorned.

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Elizabeth Warren Not Interested In Getting Involved In Sanders-Clinton Feud, Says ‘I’m Not Going There’

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Sen. Elizabeth Warren has fallen behind both Joe Biden and Bernie Sanders in the polls, which is not a great sign this close to the Iowa caucuses, but at the end of the day, it’s still anyone’s game. With the primary so close, many in the Democratic Party have turned on each other and gone after one another in verbal jousting and mudslinging attacks, chief among them Warren and Sanders, with Warren accusing Sanders of saying he didn’t believe a woman could be president. While the smoke is just starting to clear on that a bit, the feud between Bernie and former Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton is still alive, and Warren is refusing to get involved in the fray. Check out the details from The Washington Examiner: Elizabeth Warren tried to skirt questions about Hillary Clinton’s claim “nobody likes” her rival for the 2020 Democratic presidential nomination, Bernie Sanders. “I’m not going there,” the Massachusetts senator, 70, told CBS Friday morning. Clinton, 72, in an interview published this week by the Hollywood Reporter, blasted the Vermont senator, her former 2016 Democratic primary opponent, as “a career politician,” saying she felt “so bad” that “people got sucked into” him. “He was in Congress for years. He had one senator support him. Nobody likes him, nobody wants to work with him, he got nothing done,” the former secretary of state told the outlet. “Bernie and I have worked together for a very long time, and we continue to do so. I’ve said all I’m going to say about this,” Warren said before turning to the topic of impeachment. Warren has obviously realized that her attacks against Bernie backfired on her in a big way so now she’s trying to avoid getting pulled into another battle that could potentially hurt her chances…

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Brand New Poll Reveals That A Plurality Of Americans On Board With Soleimani Killing

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Liberals all across the country displayed their true colors by coming out in support of a radical Islamic terrorist, one who killed an untold number of American soldiers and horribly oppressed his own people in Iran after President Trump ordered the drone strike that killed Gen. Qassem Soleimani. These folks despise the president so much that they took the side of a terrorist, strangely seeming to believe that their opinions on this would reflect the feelings of most Americans. A new poll proves that is totally not the case at all. In fact, a plurality of Americans support the president’s decision to take out Soleimani. Here’s more on the poll from The Washington Examiner: The Associated Press-NORC Center for Public Affairs Research poll released Friday found 41% of Americans approved of Trump authorizing Soleimani’s death while 30% of Americans opposed the authorization. While more Americans supported the killing than opposed it, 59% of Americans disapproved of Trump’s handling of foreign policy overall. The poll comes three weeks after the United States killed the Iranian terrorist leader. The strike came in response to Iranian-backed militias attacking the U.S. Embassy in Iraq. Trump described the killing as a “no bullshit” mission. Iran responded by firing over a dozen missiles at bases housing U.S. troops. The Iranian strikes injured 11 Americans but resulted in no deaths. Once again, this poll demonstrates that a lot of individuals in the Democratic Party are on the wrong side of an issue, led there by their own desire to see President Trump impeached and removed from office. In short, they have become so used to hating the president and attacking him over every move he makes that it has become their default reaction, even when he does something good, to criticize him and oppose him. Will this…

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